I was 19 years old, in my second year of college, and I was dating. I met my boyfriend at 18, the summer before the first semester. I was so glad he was willing to do long distance. More importantly he was willing to date by my rules. You know the rules?! No long kissing, no touching below the belt, no long hugs, no phone calls after 11pm, no late night movies in the dark, and NO SEX! Of course there were more rules but those were the basics. He knew them, he understood them, and he honored them.
One day my knight in shining armor came to visit me. Only this time, was different. The armor I had appreciated him for came off and like the guys I had talked to before, here came the INFAMOUS QUESTION & STATEMENT: “Why must you have all these rules? If you love me then you know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you”.
It was like clock work, every time I was either talking to a guy or dating a guy there would come this moment in our relationship. The moment I call the WEARY moment. It was the moment in which I was shown, we were not running the same race. It was when I knew, in my heart, they could not longer see the finish line. They did not understand why I did what I did.
But why me?! But why?! Why Me?! For days, I asked myself this question. I was all alone. I was struggling and I didn’t understand why I had to be the one that was different. Why couldn’t I go party like everyone else? Why couldn’t I go make out with the guys? Why couldn’t I do something with my boyfriend and create stories like the ones I heard from my friends?
The faith was all I had. But each time, it became harder and harder. It became harder and harder to believe that the wait would be worth it. Why me Lord? Why was it ok for other “Christian” girls to date and do things with their boyfriends and not me? Why did I have these rules?