I am 29 years old. I am a virgin. I am engaged. Me and my fiancé are waiting until marriage to be intimate. BUT on 1/5/15 I HAD SEX.
I am a Guidance Counselor by profession and work in a middle school/high school (6–12th grade). Today, one of my students showed me a naked picture of another student that had gone viral. I was so shocked, not because of the picture (its sad, that in 2015 these things are not foreign to me) but, because of the individual in the picture. IT WAS ME!
Factually, the girl in the picture is one of my top students. She is a student that is so helpful, respectful and intelligent. I looked at the picture and I was speechless. Of course the student showing it to me thought I was speechless about the picture, but it was so much more than that. I was speechless because I was looking at a naked picture of me that just went viral over the internet! Not me now, but the teenage me. Not me me, but a girl who is the embodiment of me as a teenager.
The student that showed me the picture asked me to talk to the girl whose nude picture had just gone viral, to make sure she was ok. She said she was worried because the picture had been all over Facebook and my straight A, powerful student, would now be a depressed and broken teenage girl. I agreed and sent her on her way.
As I sat at my desk, I couldn’t stop thinking about my student in the pic. What had gotten her to this point? Why did she do this? In that moment, I closed my eyes and remembered me in high school. I was this girl!
I was a top student, very popular and active in sports and the student body. I helped out and was well respected. I too, had a high school boyfriend. Yes, the pressures and temptations were real for us to have sex, but I didn’t. Why didn’t I?
I met up with my student later on in the day and told her I saw the picture that was on the internet. She looked down and said “yeah it was dumb, I did it and now I have to move on from here”. As she was talking, it was as if I were talking. I was imagining being in her shoes. She explained about the picture and I also found out she was sexually active. I felt bamboozled. NEVER would I have thought this girl was having sex. NEVER! What made her do it? Why couldn’t she just say no? Why couldn’t she have my story?
As we talked, I gave her encouraging words and advice about never ending up in this situation again and how to move forward. To my surprise, I looked at her eyes and piercing through them was a young lady full of courage. Not a broken person. A person who made a mistake and had learned from it! I felt her push, I felt her motivation not to be in this position ever again. As I stared at her I had to wonder, did I just see nude pictures of the younger me, or nude pictures of a younger, better me? One thing I do know is she is going to make it!
According to an article by the Heritage Foundation ( Kim & Rector, 2010), “Teen sexual activity remains a widespread problem confronting the nation. Each year, some 2.6 million teenagers become sexually active–a rate of 7,000 teens per day. Among high school students, nearly half report having engaged in sexual activity, and one-third are currently active.” I fear these numbers may be increased now. It’s ALARMING!!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
In the case of my student, she has done something and has to my knowledge learned her lesson. The bigger question is why did it have to get to this point? There are some who would not have learned and some that would not have psychologically been able to handle the situation. They would have been broken and depressed.
I wish I could have caught my student before she had lost her virginity and told her she is me. I wish I could have told me not to do it. I wish I could have told me that if she doesn’t do it she can be me. I wish I could have shared with me how nervous and excited I am to be getting married. How nervous and excited I am to be loosing my virginity on my honeymoon. I wish I could have told me that God loves me and my body belonged to him until someone was man enough to put a ring on me. But I didn’t get to tell me anything until it was too late. Despite it all, I am grateful to see me be so strong in the face of adversity.
IT IS POSSIBLE not to be sexually active and live a great life! Yes, it’s HARD but it’s WORTH IT!!! Being sexually active comes at a price. The price of your body (potential STDs), pregnancy, emotional, physical harm, and psychological damage. I am so thankful that every day I get a chance to help someone, especially young people.
I want everyone reading this, young and old, to understand that abstinence is possible and so is restoration. If you have lost your virginity, you don’t have to continue having sex. You can be a virgin again. I experienced a lot on Jan. 5th. That day reminded me that God has to get ALL THE GLORY for my LIFE. Just as easy as this was my student today, it could have been me.
The only difference between me and my student is in a split second, when the Holy Spirit (that feeling you get when you know you shouldn’t be doing something) spoke to me, I listened. It is a mission of mine that people get in tune with the Holy Spirit. Let him lead and guide you so that you too can walk with boldness and in Purity! #iamCHIC #beCHIC #strengthinPurity