The Big Test

thevirgindiary

Throughout my entire life, I have had the notion that every time a test came my way my job was to pass it and move on. With each test, I began to understand more and more that it was not just about passing the test, but more about learning from the test. As you have read in my previous posts, I have had my fair share of tough test, but by God’s grace I made it through them all. I actually need new tests & new challenges to propel me further down the path to greatness.

Then a couple of weeks ago it happened. I approached my hardest test to date or rather I should say it approached me. It ambushed me, it pierced deep, it cut straight to the heart and as I write this I’m still recovering. I got hurt really bad by someone I hold very close. Funny thing is, just a few days before it happened, I was speaking at a bible study saying the people we love the most are the people who hurt us the worst. They are the people the enemy tries to use to get your attention. Never forget Judas had to be who he was.

When you are focused and committed to walking with God the enemy can no longer use “little” things to get you to slip up. He has to go for harder less disclosed things. My goodness! Satan couldn’t get me with sex and couldn’t get me with people talking about me! He couldn’t get me with any of the things I dealt with in the past because I passed those test with God and moved on. So, the enemy came for the jugular and honestly, I almost let him win! Yup, the minister, the speaker, the encourager, life’s straight A student. What I felt, had to be close to Jesus feelings in the garden of gethsemane. I felt broken, hurt, and confused. I was angry, mad, determined, bi-polar. Then came the tears, screams, kicks. All of this leading me to one statement. Lord Help Me! That’s all I could muster up in the middle of each tear and groan, Lord help me! 

As a guidance counselor, I see kids taking regents exams all the time.  The ones who really want to pass their test go to regents prep. They surround themselves with support. Even though they don’t know what’s on the test they make sure they are not totally caught off guard. When life hits you with a real tough test you need to have some support in place.  I was so blessed when this all happened to have awesome friends who were not only there for me but, prayed for me and offered me Godly advice right on the spot. They comforted and didn’t let me sit in a pool of misery.

***The people you have around you not only need to support you but, pray for you and CORRECT you with Godly advice when needed***

So the test came. It was harder than imagined. I laid before God and I asked Him why? I even got mad at him, sure did! (I know [insert embarrassed face] thank God He loves us despite our mess). Anger is what I felt. God I don’t deserve this! I serve you faithfully! I have given my whole life to You for Your glory. Why would You let this happen to me?

Who did I think I was? Yeah I was hurt, but so what? I acted as if the Bible doesn’t speak of us being persecuted and facing trials. It was at that revelatory moment that I was convicted and God showed me this was my stepping stone into greatness.

We are all destined for greatness and we don’t just get there on an easy journey. I had found myself feeling entitled as if God owed me something for serving Him. He doesn’t! I owe Him everything for sending Jesus to die for me when I was nothing but a sinner. He has already promised to prosper me and not harm me ( Jeremiah 29:11) but, without a test there can be no testimony. Don’t forget God’s promises! I was almost off my path and this showed me how easy so many walk away from God after a big TEST and never get their IMONY (rest of the testimony). I almost strayed the course and maybe you almost did or actually did but, it’s not to late to come back and be restored.
God showed me 2 Corinthians 4:8-12. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
Get this scripture in your heart! It has calmed my spirit and restored my emotions. This scripture allowed me to forgive. I did not want to hold on to baggage and feelings of pain. I also wanted God to hear my prayers and I couldn’t do that with unforgiveness in my heart. Believe it or not I am grateful for this experience. It has me one step closer to being greater for God. One step closer to walking in His glory. He does all things for a purpose and it’s ALWAYS for good not evil! I am stronger because of this test, I am wiser and even more closer to God because of it. I want the same for every person reading this. Be encouraged. GOD IS STILL GOD THROUGH IT ALL! The good, the bad, the ups and the downs, God is still God and He is still awesome!
If you need to talk and pray or need an ear please contact me via my site and I will get back to you! Don’t separate yourself. Dont let the enemy tell you this is something it is not. You will survive! You will pass the BIG test!

I want to write a prayer I prayed after writing this for all my readers:
Father God, every single person who has been hurt, who is confused, who doesn’t understand why a bad thing has happened to them. I pray for comfort for that person right now. Please visit that person and touch them in their hearts.  Begin the healing process.  Lord! Guide them in the steps that’s needed to be healed. For every tear they cry , be there to add comfort like no one else can. I pray right now, if a person is hurt reading this, that you comfort them at this very moment. I pray for the peace that surpasses all understanding. We thank you for who you are Lord .We love you! In your name we pray Amen!

Be encouraged!  GOD got you ! #BeCHIC  #iamCHIC #setapartforHisPurpose

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