Throughout my entire life, I have had the notion that every time a test came my way my job was to pass it and move on. With each test, I began to understand more and more that it was not just about passing the test, but more about learning from the test. As you have read in my previous posts, I have had my fair share of tough test, but by God’s grace I made it through them all. I actually need new tests & new challenges to propel me further down the path to greatness.
Then a couple of weeks ago it happened. I approached my hardest test to date or rather I should say it approached me. It ambushed me, it pierced deep, it cut straight to the heart and as I write this I’m still recovering. I got hurt really bad by someone I hold very close. Funny thing is, just a few days before it happened, I was speaking at a bible study saying the people we love the most are the people who hurt us the worst. They are the people the enemy tries to use to get your attention. Never forget Judas had to be who he was.
When you are focused and committed to walking with God the enemy can no longer use “little” things to get you to slip up. He has to go for harder less disclosed things. My goodness! Satan couldn’t get me with sex and couldn’t get me with people talking about me! He couldn’t get me with any of the things I dealt with in the past because I passed those test with God and moved on. So, the enemy came for the jugular and honestly, I almost let him win! Yup, the minister, the speaker, the encourager, life’s straight A student. What I felt, had to be close to Jesus feelings in the garden of gethsemane. I felt broken, hurt, and confused. I was angry, mad, determined, bi-polar. Then came the tears, screams, kicks. All of this leading me to one statement. Lord Help Me! That’s all I could muster up in the middle of each tear and groan, Lord help me!
***The people you have around you not only need to support you but, pray for you and CORRECT you with Godly advice when needed***
So the test came. It was harder than imagined. I laid before God and I asked Him why? I even got mad at him, sure did! (I know [insert embarrassed face] thank God He loves us despite our mess). Anger is what I felt. God I don’t deserve this! I serve you faithfully! I have given my whole life to You for Your glory. Why would You let this happen to me?
Who did I think I was? Yeah I was hurt, but so what? I acted as if the Bible doesn’t speak of us being persecuted and facing trials. It was at that revelatory moment that I was convicted and God showed me this was my stepping stone into greatness.
I want to write a prayer I prayed after writing this for all my readers:
Father God, every single person who has been hurt, who is confused, who doesn’t understand why a bad thing has happened to them. I pray for comfort for that person right now. Please visit that person and touch them in their hearts. Begin the healing process. Lord! Guide them in the steps that’s needed to be healed. For every tear they cry , be there to add comfort like no one else can. I pray right now, if a person is hurt reading this, that you comfort them at this very moment. I pray for the peace that surpasses all understanding. We thank you for who you are Lord .We love you! In your name we pray Amen!